Surviving R. Kelly is a Testament to How Black Women Are Treated
Good Day Starshine
I heard a lot about this documentary through the never-ending Facebook timeline posts. If you are not familiar with what the documentary is about, it is basically about the women that have escaped R. Kelly’s “sex cult” and have been interviewed to show the world all of what R. Kelly does when he is not in the spotlight. I put ”sex cult” in quotations because this is the term the media used to describe what was happening to the women.
We all know about the sex tape that shows R. Kelly (allegedly) having sex with an underage teenage girl. We’ve made jokes about the golden showers, hell we even watched shows that joked about it. We knew about the secret marriage between R. Kelly and Aaliyah when she was only 15 (he was in his later 20’s). We have seen R. Kelly in the spotlight multiple times when it came to getting in trouble with underage girls. But please tell me this, why do we continue to blame the girls?
‘Surviving R. Kelly’ shows, in depth, the true monster Kelly is and how he manipulated, deceived, abused, and used young women/girls to achieve whatever little fetish he had. He promised them (and their parents) a big break to turn these women into stars. Many women spoke out about it, but few were believed. Why?
Because America has a messed up psyche. In this country, and I’m only speaking about America, the longer a woman (or person) waits to speak out against sexual violence, the less believable they become. I could tell you that for us Black folk it’s hard to believe because of all the false ”rapes” white women have put on our men that now we just can’t pen down a Black man on mere allegations. But I’d be only telling half the truth. R. Kelly is a Black man abusing Black women and people have laughed about it.
Black Twitter has called these women liars. They’ve questioned their parents’ morals. They’ve even flat out been disrespectful on people’s looks. Majority of these comments are coming from other Black folks. Sexual abuse is not a joke, and it sure isn’t a joke when your own people don’t believe you because of the status of your abuser.
What is it about this country that undervalues us as women, and especially the Black woman? We are the most amazing creation and people are so quick to put us in a box and tell us what we are, and so often we believe them. R. Kelly being the superstar that he is has put out arrogant statements about this whole situation. He’s paid off people to make these things disappear. He’s isolated these women from their families, and we’re still blaming these young women.
Do you know that a woman’s mind is said to not be fully developed until the age of 25 (some say even later for men)? To me, this means that a young 16 year old does not have enough forethought to see what her actions could really cause. She may see her consequences as a case by case basis, but never her case individually. Now add this immaturity to the family that lacks.
Many of the women Kelly preyed on were kids of single-parent homes. The girls found the love of an abusive star as a replacement to fill a void in their lives. Some families were well off, but these girls wanted to be stars. They wanted to sing and be famous. So when a high profile celebrity shows you that attention, you instantly feel gratified in their want for you. It is all a trick in the psyche.
Imagine your first love as a teenager. Many adults at that time would call it puppy love, because it was all emotion and infatuation. It was basically a roller coaster ride. Now, imagine your first puppy love is with a celebrity that pretends to treat you right in the beginning then turns around and turns you into a sex slave.
You’ve been isolated from your family. He’s manipulated you into thinking he’s the only one that truly cares for you. You try to speak up but he literally slaps you back down. After years of being one of the many women you’ve had to share him with, you finally escape from this prison. You scream to the mountain tops about your experience, and the only thing you receive is:
Support for a pedophile/sexual abuser that has yet to be convicted and is continually celebrated because of his works. Shame.
It’s funny that people only separate the person from the artist when they are in deep legal trouble.
I would conclude with this, R. Kelly is a predator. He is an abuser. The money you spend on his music goes back into his pockets to continue to abuse these women.
Black folks, we need to do better. Treat our women right even when there’s a celebrity involved. It’s okay, no one will judge you for believing a Black woman (or man) that has been sexually assaulted. It’s time to stand up for our own, and stop thinking that everyone is trying to set us up. We have enough issues to deal with while being Black in America, don’t allow this to separate us as well.