• Tanaya Eyvette

Passover is Here, Healing is Near

This post is based on Daniel 3:16-18, Hebrews 11:1, and James 1:6)


As we come into the Easter season, and while being stuck in the comfort of our homes, I have had the time to really align with God. So today, I wanted to share something short about faith.


HAVING FAITH DOESN'T EXEMPT YOU FROM TROUBLE

Having faith does not mean trouble won't happen. It doesn't even mean your life will get easier. On the contrary, you'll get tested with temptation even more than before! But in your faith is where you use God's strength instead of your own to fight those battles.


Having faith doesn't mean you are perfect either. To be fully resurrected with Christ, you have to let Him into where you are right now. Not the polished you, but who you are without the mask. If God wanted perfection, he would've kept Jesus down here a lot longer.


FAITH IS BELIEVING GOD IS HOLDING ONTO YOU, EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T FEEL IT

During my grieving and depression, I cried out to God in P-A-I-N. Absolute pain. If God didn't allow me to go through that patch, I wouldn't be where I currently am spiritually. I wouldn't understand what true pain felt like. I wouldn't understand other people's pain/grief/depression.


He took me at my weakest point (multiple weak points throughout my life), and let me cry, throw temper tantrums, and be angry through it. Then he would calm me down so that he could show me the way out.

He didn't try to fix it right then and there, even though he could have. If he didn't allow me to feel, and if I decided to take matters into my own hands to numb the pain with distractions (which I have done a bunch of times), then I wouldn't have healed.


There are wounds I'd been numbing for years that are coming up today. Wounds like being molested multiple times and the guilt, shame, anger, and sadness that came with it. Isolating myself because I felt misunderstood, unprotected or vulnerable. Issues I hadn't resolved with myself, and issues I had with perfectionism, and the way I viewed my self-worth.


My self-worth was based on if a man found me attractive or wanted to be with me, on whether I had all the trendy things, if I dressed a certain way, had money, expensive make-up, or even how much space I took up in a room or on a couch. Yeah, seriously.

Those wounds opened up, and it showed that all that numbing didn't help at all. It just made for a longer healing journey. With that, I clung to Jesus.

Those wounds opened up, and it showed that all that numbing didn't help at all. It just made for a longer healing journey

I mean CLUNG. He told me to write, so that's what I did. I wrote down every wound that was hindering me in detail, and that was cringy. Whether it was the moment my innocence was unveiled, or the moments I'm not so proud of doing, from the times I lied my way out of things to me treating people badly because of my own weakness, I wrote and spoke them to Him.


I now know, my reaction is what matters because I can't control other people (another weakness of mine), but I can control how I let it affect me. So now, I am being intentional on using my strong words to speak life to others. In doing all of these things, it has taken a layer off of my tainted soul, and presenting a more pure hearted woman.


I hope you all are finding yourself during this season, and really taking the time to heal.


Be kind, and speak life,

XX,

Tanaya

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