Just...Start, the Rest Will Work Itself Out
I woke up this early this morning with an inquisitive heart. What am I doing that is in line with God’s plan for my life? Am I staying disciplined enough to do it, or am I just letting life pass me by?
These thoughts came after a frustrating moment I had this morning, and all I could do was ask “why”.
Have you ever felt like that? Like, you know that a switch needs to be turned on, but you can’t seem to find that switch ANYWHERE?!
I decided that I was going to go outside right then and there to watch the sunrise. In that moment I realized that I was always on the right path; I just hadn’t walked forward in a while. But, do you know why?
No, seriously do you know? Because I am at a loss here.
To be honest, I was standing still so that God could work his way in me. I’ve heard the scripture (which is one of my favorites) “Be still and know that I am God.” But I never thought it’d feel like THIS. I never thought it feel like I wanted to move but couldn’t.
If you watch anime, then you should be familiar with the show FairyTail. Erza, the baddest
Mage of them all, will not fight certain battles without certain armor. When she equips, you know she’s about to go in. But there was a moment in the first season where she had no armor and she had to learn how to navigate in that vulnerability. She eventually found strength in that vulnerability, and THAT is what helped her fight harder (and with a different purpose) than she had ever done.
That is what I felt like. I wanted to go in headfirst, but it felt like God held the collar of my shirt saying, “hey there girl, slow down. It is not time yet.” And with that, I am finding the peace of sitting my butt down and doing what God instructed me to do.
Something so simple and tedious, but oh so necessary. It’s like trying to build a beautiful booty and hating the fact that you have to do squats and glute workouts to get there. While there are shortcuts (surgery), it never feels quite the same.
So here I am, making sure to stay consistent and learning to be gentle with myself along the way. I guess what I am learning from this moment is that all you have to do is start. Begin. Let yourself "fail", let yourself re-do, let yourself learn what works for you, and let yourself grow into that part of you that has been hidden too long.
It's okay, people may judge you, maybe you'll be treated differently, you may even have a hard time convincing others of your new found freedom. But you know what? None of that matters, because you aren't doing it for anyone but you and God. So let that sink in a little, huh?
What are some things that you feel stuck on, and can’t seem to move forward on? Let me know in the comments.
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Side note: I am going on a 21-day Daniel fast with my church (but I am also seeking individual inquiries), so you will see a lot more posts from me while I share the process.