Healing from my toxic workplace || Part II-The Review
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Okay, I left off at my one-year review. This review went for 2-hours. 2-HOURS! We started upstairs in the conference room where the tension was high. The meeting was basically lot of-
“I am trying to tell you how to be a good supervisor because you’re crushing me.”
“well maybe if you were a good employee I’d care.”
-type situation. We were in the meeting so long; we had to leave the conference room and go into a co-worker’s office to finish. She was out for maternity leave, so it was perfect. I know you’re probably dying to know what was talked about, especially if you are an old co-worker of mine (you little nosy).
It became apparent what kind of little devil I was dealing with when it came to Sarah. She constantly brought up her feelings of me not doing things in a timely manner according to her standards. Example? Sure, I can give you the exact one she gave me.
There was a box full of hard hats that needed to be put together. She wanted them done in 3 days (Friday), and I said I’d get to it and have them done by then. That Thursday rolled around and she had taken the box that was by my desk and decided to do them herself. At my review, she told me that I didn’t do it on my downtime, so it proved that I was not doing my job…
Let that soak in.
Earlier in the year, I’d taken the initiative to create an inventory system so that I could better order supplies. I had taken a break from doing our stupid filing project, mainly because my understanding of the project was finished. Meaning, what I was told to do was done.
Since Sarah said I did nothing on my downtime, I took a week putting this into place. I labeled every cabinet, nook, and cranny, put them on a spreadsheet with codes and ways for me check the quantity when I needed to put in an order. I brought this up during our staff meeting, and she did not look pleased. She actually looked upset that I would do such a thing. I found out at my review that-
“It is not part of your job.”
“But my job is to order supplies. You told me you like people that take initiative. So, I took initiative and created a system to better help me do my job. Just because you don’t like it, doesn’t mean it’s not a part my job.”
Yes, I got lippy. But, that’s just the kind of person I am.
The review went into high gear when she started getting loud to prove a ridiculous point, yet again, about those dang on hard hats (the only ammo she had to work with). We discussed my raise, which was not a lot, and I told her that this was not acceptable. She tried to prove to me that my skills were below what they were even willing to give me (she again brought up the hardhats) and that I should basically be grateful.
“I spent 4 years in Administration before coming here and-“
“yeah, but it was at a college. So, it doesn’t count.”
It doesn’t count. Yes, you read that right. Because Student Senate is looked down on by many “professionals” it didn’t count that I worked in an office for Administration. My years fighting for students, being trained to be a good leader, putting together programming for our thousands of students, or presenting at meetings with the college president, hell even running the office when my supervisor had to leave for weeks because of a family death, did not count.
My blood, sweat, and tears didn’t fit into what many people count as work. But you try keeping a 3.8 GPA, going to school Full-Time, working 2 Part-Time jobs AND taking care of our students on the Admin side and show me where it doesn’t count. I would get to work for Senate at 8 am, by 12:30 pm I was working the campus coffee shop until 6:30 pm. Monday through Thursday. Fridays I’d work Senate only. When I was in the play for school, I’d get off work at 6:30 pm, and head upstairs to rehearsal until 10 pm. Then I’d take the bus home, go do homework, and start my days over again.
You give me someone that dedicated to their leadership, and I would shut my mouth right there. But, because it wasn’t important to her, then it just wasn’t important.
She tried to leave the meeting early because I told her that her tone was disrespectful, and she needs to take it down a notch. She blamed me for her tone. I told her that we need to take a breather because she was clearly frustrated, she yelled and said “I am NOT frustrated! I’m calm!” I laughed (not the best thing to do). I cupped my face in my hands and told her, “you are not calm. Your face is red and I can feel your energy all through here.” She did not like that. Not one bit.
By this time, I could tell I was really getting under her skin. Unfortunately, when I notice a bully start feeling that way I poke even more. Smirking at comments that are ridiculous. Maybe giving “yeah right” facial expressions. Or over-exaggerating my “okays”. Just so she could see how stupid this conversation was.
We left that meeting HOT. I mean I was sweating I was so furious. I went home, told Peter about my day. Cried like a baby because it took everything in my power to not hurt this woman’s feelings. I also cried because I allowed her to treat me like a slave. But this was no more.
The next day I jumped on my computer and sent Sarah an email. I told her I will not accept the raise because I deserve more (professionally of course), and we could discuss this on Monday.
To be continued…
Thanks for reading!